tour guide for alton towers anyone?

feeling positively saintly - I mean, who else would offer to be a tour guide for alton towers? on msn. With low battery on their laptop. Pfft. I know you wanna hear it really. Ps its a bit long.



Rita - I sat at the front, it is proper fast, and you can't stand up properly for ages afterwards. Right, there's traffic lights, and on red it rolls you back a tiny bit, then on amber a bit more, then on green WOOOOOSH you've gone forwards, its ace. put your hands up, tis awesome. Hair goes mental.
Nemesis - Its ace. You like, sit down but stand up if you get me. You go quite fast, and you proper feel like you're gonna crash into the rocks, but you don't don't worry. Underneath the thing is like water dyed red (supposed to look like blood). Not that scary. Its ace.
Thirteen - Tbh, the scariest bit is the bit where you queue up. I'll save it so it scares you more. You queue up, then go up a steep hilly bit, then it drops you quite steep. Then you go round, and then you go into a pitch black room. You are in there for a minute, and then it drops you, like a free-fall drop. But it's not that scary. But you'll scream believe me. Then thats the end I think.
Air - You have to take your shoes off. When you first get on it, you just sit down like a normal ride but with more safety stuff. Then before it goes, you get tilted up so its like | normal then __ next. Then you like WOOOSH off, into daylight, and boom it proper feels like your flying. Put your hands in the superman position for photos. I love Air, tis ace.
Oblivion - Best.Ride.Ever. Right, you queue up, then you go on the thing, the back one is higher up but you wanna go on the front one trust me. You get pushed forwards by the thing, then you go up a hilly bit but its just track if you get me. Then you go onto a U shape horizontal bit, and you get tilted forwards so you can see the drop, its vertical literally its like | and yeah, you can proper see the thing but its just track and a bit of fog. Then theres traffic lights again I think, and then they let you go, and you go proper fast into the tunnel, and its pitch black and its all screamy-shouty for a bit. Then the next thing you know its over. 
I went on Oblivion 5 times in a row.
Flume - Its basically a giant bath tub you sit in. And then you go round, and your in the water and it's all bumping into the sides, and your like "ew" because you can see the green water marks on the sides. Then you go around the thing and you like go around and up a few more bits. Then you go up another bit, and then there's like a giant shed thing. You go in it, its pitch black. There's like showers going and they're freezing and this REALLY REALLY REALLY SCARY rubber duck noise. Then you go out of that, and you go down a hilly bit and splashy-splashy. Then you climb up another thing, but this one is proper tall (I think). Then you get to the top of it, and your like tilted forwards a little bit. Then you go down it super fast, and at the bottom its really really cold water and you go splash again. You get really wet.Cable Cars (not strictly a ride but still) - There all multi-coloured, and huge and GLASS.
You go into them, and they lower you onto the rope, and the next thing you know your over a load of trees when you look out. You go quite slowly, and its not very funny if the family who is sat opposite you have kids that think its funny to rock the whole car thing. Ew.
And you don't wanna be there when it breaks down. The whole car sinks for ages, until it jolts a bit, and you go back up.
Its as scary as shit.

By the way, the links are POV's.
Woo have fun!
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